Saying Goodbye

Max in 2013 Lewis and Clark Humane Society
Adoption Picture

 

My son always had someone to play a computer game with
Joseph and Max 2015

What better day to talk about the moment we have to say goodbye to a friend, a companion, a supporter, an entertainer. Someone who no matter how bad your day is or was, they he is, wagging tail – not just welcoming you home, but to absorb all the negative energy from you, and just give a constant flow of unconditional love. You start to see the eyes fade, the lathargia, the changes that age has taken its toll; and today is the day i have to pay the toll.

Even an animal communicator, someone who has been on the other side, and have have had loved ones who passed take my hand and welcome me home. Absolutely knowing full in my entire being, know that there is life beyond this one, and that our companions are there too to welcome us home once again. I have proof and i have experienced death, and I, like my mother thought one should grieve a birth and celebrate in death. It is one transition to another is all; and actually being born and taking our first breath – I recall, unfortunately; it is a terribly terrifying and shocking event to take your first breath and suddenly, BE.

No matter my unwavering faith in what I know, The stories Max told me about the life he had before me; as he sat 9 months in the humane society as an unwanted geriatric dog, with terrible neglected teeth. That was 2013.  Today is January 15, 2019 and no matter the knowledge, wisdom, or gift I have – it is all out the window – There is nothing anyone can ever say to make these days better, or more comfortable.

I feel the most important lesson in saying goodbye to our friends; is the fact that we had them for as long as we have. Be it 24 hours, or years – time doesn’t matter – you’re heartbroken. Even in my tears though, I am so grateful that he chose us to spend his remaining years, i remember first meeting him, and bringing  in home, how he stared at me for two months, and did not know what was expected of him, or how long will this last? The time passed and revealed me his entire story, he wanted someone to know where he had been; and that his life is so different now, so much more relaxed and loving, attentive and a possibility of happiness. The moment i fell in love, is when he got away from me, and i drove around the park calling his name at 1100 at night.  He was always reluctant to come to you, because in his past, when he ran off, when he returned, instead of celebration, a man knocked the shit out of him. I always wanted him to come to me, and to trust, he would never know a harsh hand again.

I was so worried as i drove around the park, until finally i hear a bark and I look up in my rear view mirror and max was running dead center down the road chasing my car, and ears were flapping and he was trying everything he could to catch up.  I jumped out of the car, swept him up and loved on him, kissed on him and celebrated his return. That was when I fell in love. I was a goner.

This picture always reminded me of that moment of pure Joy!

He tolerated me fora  bit, still didn’t feel a purpose or reason why he was where he was, until my son returned home from UTAH and met max for the first time.  I had had Max for four months, and never did he light up the day he saw my son – He ran circles, wagged is tail, barked the way he never had – a harmonious hoarseness about the howl everytime my son came home.  Today I have to put all those memories away and talk with him, and follow through with what I alrady know he has told me. and NO matter how good or accurate a communicator is – we can’t make this easier – But I do know there is a true specialness to a Spirit who has chosen to be a vulnerable pet and risk coming back to find the ones they love and who they are meant to be with – they know and we know. But nothing, no wisdom, no words, can ever change this day or emotions that follow.

 

 

Under the covers keeping warm, looking and rooting for Toes to chew on!

We MUST give them thanks for coming to us, to allowing us into thier lives, thankful for the lessons learned from them, what they gave us, what they teach us, and a love that is so easily taken for granted –

I will celebrate when i go see my friend, and hold his head, stroke and kiss him for both my son and I. I am saying goodbye to a dear freind and a fine mate. And I will walk in happiness and joy, that it was my hand and my love, and my voice – that he heard last.  And always an invitation to return whenever he may be ready. Today, I will give him every bit of love, joy and gratitude that he has blessed us with for the last 6 years.

Goodbye my dear friend. I know where you are, and you have forever been imprinted into my heart – and you are in some really cool company bud.

Until we meet again, Max, I adore you.

He taught me how to meditate, how to be still, and how to appreciate a really good SIGH.  My have we been blessed.

 

 

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